I love your Girlfriend - honesty and two degrees of seperation.

I will start out frankly: I am not a serious optimist when it comes to the viability of straight modelled lesbian relationships. I have just encountered a few too many lesbian relationships gone horribly awry. I have a friend who has not been in a relationship for six years. She simply doesnt feel like the high drama any longer. If I look around me, I don`t blame her. I suspect, that at the core of our lesbian relationship difficulties lies two things: firstly we try way to hard to imitate straight monogamous calvinist marriages, and secondly our female inability to stop caring for our ex lovers and perhaps following that, our intense need to own the person we love. So you have six ladies in your life you call friends, turns out they are actually all exes with whom you share a bag full of intimate and emotionally loaded memories. Your newest lover has issues with them, as they make her feel insecure. After various over emotional fights you choose between a friendless existence or another breakup and consequently another ex that you will remain in contact with inevitably. This mad but very real situation brings us to a choice:a) You can either decide that your current lover is the most important person in the world and abandon your exes, risking isolation and end up despising her for losing people closest to your heart in the long term. b) Your lover can learn to accept that she is your most imporant love and that caring and even loving other people does not derive from that. The facts are. If the only reason you are staying with your lover and not having juicy thoughts about other women is because you don`t get to communicate with anyone else, then she should be way more insecure than if you were frank with her about exes and other people dear to you.Its a bit of a cosmopolitan love. Myself and a friend in Cape Town recently worked out that in South Africa there are about two people between you and any other South African Lesbian (sexually). So, we are one hot and happy family. We have to accept ourselves as women whom, in kind are loving, warm hearted and bond tightly and easily we should probably stop trying to imitate straight relationships in our much diffrent way of loving. We are not stud bulls trying to spread our gene pool as far as possible, we are deeper, more caring beings, and thinking that loving anyone means forgetting and unloving everyone else you have once loved is a giant mistake. Especially with women. The solution lies in free open and uninhibited communication. My primary lover knows, about all the women I carry close to my heart. She also understands how important she is to me. In fact all the women in my life does. Yes, I love more than one woman. That does not make me the slut of Lesbia, it simply makes me honest, both with myself and the objects of my affection. One of the last things I want is someone who does not want me, or worse somoene that wants to imprison me. We must design our own working mode, l heavens the straight model doesnt even work for straights!!So, as a pessimist over the longterm viability of a relationship between two over emotional intense woman, I believe that lesbian relationships can only work if we are open and honest about the fact that we do love each others girlfriends - it does not mean we need to sleep with them, but denial has never caused love to vanish, it only broods and grows stronger until what you are hiding either bursts open dramatically or devours you from the inside.So honey, I love your girlfriend, sir, I love your wife - live with it, because if you are honest you will admit, that you too loves somene elses girlfriend. Remember to support www.alicemagazine.co.za

Kisses

Darefairy

Not Just a Pocket Pussy, Finding the E-Spot….and then the S-Spot, and then the N-Spot, and then the L-Spot, and then the C-Spot…. before getting to the G-Spot….. why and how.

Have you ever seen a “pocket pussy”?  If you`ve been to an Adult Novelty Store chances are you have.  Hmmm? I bet a lot of you wear balaclavas to the sex shop, or is wigs? Well if you were not shy you would have had the startling experience of coming (NOT cumming) face to face with a pocket pussy!  Don`t fear, it`s not much different from a blow up doll – except, it’s only the vagina of a blow up doll. A pocket pussy is a velvety soft plastic/latex little ball with labia and an inside. Obviously, it`s mostly for the use of straight men. My point exactly….

This might be an old tune I’m singing, but if you are struggling in your sex life, it is probably time you or your partner starts listening to when this fat lady sings! No matter how turned on – a woman is much more than a vagina, and sex with a woman, is sex with much more than a vagina. A premature hand, finger, dildo, strap-on on a vagina will therefore be greeted with the dismay it deserves. 

Having sex with a woman is not about a genital experience.  It is very much an emotional experience, a skin experience, a lips experience, a nipple experience and so forth.  It all starts in the emotions.  If you don`t find the e-spot before looking for the others, you will probably fail dismally at your attempt to pleasure your love to her full potential.

The E-spot consists of a few different mental and emotional dimensions.  Firstly, be someone she admires. When a woman knows she can seduce someone she admires, she immediately feels like a sex god herself!  To achieve this, it is important to know what your lover admires in people.  Work towards being more of that, and see the magic happen.  Secondly, we need to feel safe.  Your lover will only react to you on an ideal level if she trusts you.  Trust lies a bit deeper than “she won`t cheat on me” emotional safety to women is about, “does she love me?”, “will she still want me if she sees me in my pajamas in the middle of the night with my hair in all directions and my stinky breath?” and most importantly, are you someone with whom your partner feels its ok to lose all control and inhibitions.  This last aspect is the very essence of good sex with a woman.  Even if you spend hours vigorously working down under, and are panting of fatigue and not lust – if you don`t have the E-Spot in place, she will need to quietly close her eyes and think of a tree (or her boss) to experience orgasm.

After the E- spot follows all the different little spots covered by our biggest organ – the SKIN (S-Spot).  Truly where this is concerned,  SIZE DOES MATTER… Be all over her, worship her beautiful body,  kiss her toes and suck her fingers,  make her feel adored, on fire and wanting.  At this stage the Vulva is still a no go place – even if you yearn to let your fingers slip past those labia – I say NO!

The L-Spot don’t forget the lips! Not those lips! The ones attached to her head!  A proper French kiss is the perfect meeting place of the E-Spot and the S-Spot, and is just the thing to make her lose control of those violent desires…. If you and your partner are struggling with kissing that is satisfying to both of you, find a midway but never stop kissing!

 After you`ve spent enough time on all the Spots, you may know venture ahead to the rabbit hole of redemption….

I know most of you know, but for those of you that don`t…. Your final destination, one the road to small death is the G-Spot (not only the Clitoris).  It’s not hard to find…. Explore the roof of her vagina with your fingertips. Just past the entrance you will feel a place that’s feels almost as though it has rough ridges – keep your finger there when you rush to the finish line. 

She will want you, again and again and again….

She is not a pocket pussy, and after this, you will know the difference.   

Kisses

Darefairy.