Apologies for not finising our underland horoscope. It will only be finished this weekend as I have a Red Queen and a Absolem visiting me. Never a dull moment. *cough*. As they are hell bent on getting me laid this weekend, Ive decided to go into hiding. So, tomorrow I will be writing from the border of Botswana (while the Red Queen is chopping of her cat's balls)! No its not the Cheshire cat, its in fact the Malema cat. Where is her guilotine when a womyn needs it? Poor little chap, will reserve some Ackermans Noo-Noo powder for the ball-less puss ;).
After getting my yearly performance bonus (no not from a sex partner) *chuckle* I decided to provide Lesbians some reasons to reward ourselves. I surely did!
13 Reasons to reward yourself:
a) You are both your pet budgies' mommy and daddy - and he is turning out to be all right!
b) You run your household with pure lesbian technical wonder, instead of begging a husband to fix the broken tap, you have come to realize, husbands truly use their HANDS for these little tasks and NOT their penises. You've got hands too! (and you'll do it
ASAP).
d) You endured a lifetime of people looking at you, whispering: "so how do two women do it?!" Proud lottle Pink Activist you!
e) You finalized your stance on the "burn the bra" and "balding the noo noo" and you practice it properly.
f) You don't allow those smucks to fuck with your girlfriend - they dont know what theyre dealing with Grrrr!
g) Genderwize, you are simply the best of both worlds!
h) You survived, wondering, knowing, experimenting, the closet and finally coming out the closet - keeping your pride in tact.
I) You don not bother to fake an orgasm, you rather fake a period and pleasure your lover.
J) You realize when your lady is too tired for sex, and resort to the vibrator. After all, in lesbian sex the possibility of lying on your back and planning your grocery list until you hubby has finished does not exist. I can just imagine my neighbour by accident shouting "handy andy, handy andy" whilst faking it. No her husbands name is Peter.
K) With every orgasm you triumph over homophobes who are usually trapped in poor sexless marriages with boring colourless prude little wifeys who will never know the pleasure of cumming.
L) Youre real - because you have come a long way to for the right to be yourself in a prudish South African Society.
M) Nobody can make a woman come like another woman. Youre IT!!
Be the Queen of your Own Kingdom or the Mayor of your Own town. Get the crown, the chain, hell even get a leather whip - YOU DESERVE IT!
KISSES!!!!
Darefairy
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