Ok, enough with all the hardcore sex and emotional spikes
((only for now)) – it is time we talked about dating. For the first time in my mere 33 years of
living I am actually trying out the dating scene. Meaning, I am going out on
adventures with all kinds of fantastic women and enjoying every moment.
Dating is not about
being committed to someone or moving in on the second date. It`s about going on a date. An appointment, at a restaurant, picnic
place, movie or whatever – like going to the doctor, going on a date.
In my opinion the phenomena of social networking has
accelerated us beyond the point of dating.
We meet each other, after having spent weeks on whatsapp sharing all our
most intimate secrets and end up meeting someone we know very well on the first
date. With little left for the
imagination, we start relationships like old married couples. NO! NO! NO!
I was a lucky girl. I have to share it here, because she
deserves some recognition. The first
date I went on after years of tedious, dramatic, abusive and emotionally
draining, committed relationships was with a woman called Soe!. Going on dates
(not dating) Soe! gave me brand new zest for lesbian life.
Let me tell the compact version. I made
a date with Soe! at my all-time favourite fantasy restaurants. Not looking forward much and still licking
the wounds the Cheshire cat, scratched all over my face. I awaited the seemingly interesting lesbian I
met on Facebook. We have chatted some,
not much though.
My first blink of her, was the gorgeous woman, (and please
note WOMAN, not girl) with her loose hair and a bunch of flowers in her
arms. As I approached her, my head buzzed.
This woman, clearly fluent in flirting, dating and cooking up chemistry made me
feel adored from the second I met her.
The way she kept eye contact, overloaded
after looking into my eyes ((and had to take sip of wine pausing)), subtle
touching of my hands, and later the vague rubbing of her knee against mine had me
bedazzled. We chatted for six hours straight, with the most incredible sexual
energy hovering between us. Before she
left we briefly kissed and she watched me drive away after walking me to my
car.
This, however was
a date, not a relationship, not a
plan to get married – a magical fantastic date. That’s all. On our second date, she showed up at my
hotel, with twinkles in her eyes. I awaited her barefoot in the lobby, and we had the most romantic dinner on the
balcony. She brought me jewelry,
strawberries and chocolates. I felt like
the most adored sensual woman in history.
Needless to say, yes the date entailed the most fabulous sex I ever
had.
After she left in morning I sent her tons of red roses,
making her feel all adored and spoiled. What were we really doing? Falling in love? Building a relationship? No – we were going
on regular heartwarming, gut igniting dates.
Were we seeing other people – of course we were, going on a date is a
verb, not a condition.
What I am alluding to is that we have forgotten how to
date. I certainly have. Going on a date or six with Soe! Made me
think hard about the way we lesbians kick start our magic, or the lack thereof.
Whether you are in a real picket fenced relationship, at the start of something new, single,
dating, checking things out, in an open relationship or whatever. We need to
relook the effort we put into making each other feel appreciated and
adored. We need to relive that
breathtaking moment when someone sends you flowers and recapture that fantastic
feeling that all the straight girls get in high school when the boyfriend is
touching her hand for the first time. We
don`t need to miss this because we are lesbians.
I am concerned that missing it, however may be the lesbian
norm. We jump into relationships boots, pubic hair, and emotional baggage and
all from the very first date. By doing
this, we are denying ourselves the unmistakable magic of fascination with this
gorgeous new woman in our lives. We are
domesticating what could be wild and magical from the very start.
This is my challenge to you.
Ask her on a date. Make her feel
wined and dined like the happiest women in the world, and see the magic materializing, all on its
own.
Kisses
Darefairy
