I am of the opinion that for every situation in life there is the incredible analogy in Lewis Carol's "Alice through the looking Glass". Tim Burton's 2010 - Alice in Wonderland made this even better.
More interestingly, like in astrology there is a stereotypical character in Under land for all of us! Here it comes:
The Cheshire Cat
The Cheshire Cat is a softly unpredictable tabby. She might seem absent but she is actually luring in the skies always close enough to jump in just before the Bandersnatch rips of one’s arm. She is a strong sensual individual who values her right to vanish and appears as she wishes. The luck being - she also allows you the space. Chesh is a very loyal puss. Whilst not involving her in interpersonal politics she has unbreakable loyalties, however, she reveals them selectively. Due to her vanishing acts, it is easy to experience her as unreliable, in truth - she is always somewhere close with a lively secretive smile. She is neither loud nor very expressive but one should never underestimate her private musings. She tries very hard to seem aloof and untouchable, but she is everywhere - and contrary to popular belief, she has a beautiful heart. If you like personal space, and want a loyal, calm and very amusing lover - that Cheshire Puss is the one for you!!! Sex with the Cheshire cat should never be under estimated. They seem meek and mild but this cat can become a tiger in bed!
Absolem the Caterpillar
You'll find your Absolem somewhere in the sun, having a smoke, dreaming up plans to save the world and brooding on the seemingly mad people around her. Absolem is as honest as a creature may be in Under land. She gives a straightforward answer on deep and intriguing life questions. Never believe that there is something she failed to notice whilst sitting on her Mushroom, smoking. She finds it easy to tell any Alice not matter how divinely beautiful: "You’re not the right Alice, my Alice used to have much more muchness!" She is a passionate, slightly controlling queen of her castle. One can truly rely on her opinion as the most objective one around. Living with Absolem may be harder than initially believed. She is a very comfortable Caterpillar, who will easily order you around whilst take long puffs on her cigarette. Ultimately, loving Absolem the right way might reveal a delightful butterfly come spring time! If you can convince Absolem to get of toadstool – and you have enough muchness, the shag will be worth it.
The Red Queen (aka Queen of hearts)
The red queen is the over dramatic diva whom truly believes she owns the world. There is never a dull moment with the red queen. She is heavily opinionated and do not entertain the possibility that she might be wrong. Being a double D breasted persona she loves sex, and is a very passionate woman. She has problem with red and white thinking, and golly there never an in-between. She is all or nothing lady, she will take ownership of you and rock your world. Living with the Red Queen promises to be a rollercoaster ride. It can be very rewarding, if you are willing to take more than the odd order. A relationship with the red queen promises a sex life much like fireworks (that’s if of course you are willing to be at the bottom).
The Bandersnatch
The Bandersnatch has a very intimidating look. She has short spiky hair, and muscles! She tries to spell “don’t fuck with me” to the world. She does not wear cleavage or skirts, and her shoes says – I don`t need anyone I can fend for myself. The claws are rarely neatly trimmed, and the voice quite husky. The truth about the Bandersnatch is that she is indeed very easily intimidated and always feels the need to defend and protect. She has quite a few secrets, and only those closest to her know the truth about her. The Bandersnatch never goes nude – not even during sex. She simply chews anyone’s hand if they dare to snap her bra! At the inside of the intimidating look she is a vulnerable, insecure, caring being. A Bandersnatch can be the best of friends and the most comforting protective lover. She is a very easy going partner, as long as she feels secure. Oh beware if she suspects that you are cheating. The Bandersnatch usually don`t have the confidence to initiate sex. She will wait patiently praying that you start the magic, and take very personally if you don’t. Lastly, the Bandersnatch is a very helpful friend it can be seriously handy in chasing away all kinds of scavengers.
The White Rabbit
The only possible lover for the white rabbit is a calm, loyal centered being. Someone to curb the anxiety with love. The white rabbit has a heart of gold. She is totally committed to her friends and lovers. The problem is that half the time she so stressed out and bouncing of the walls that no one notices her dedication. Frankly, she just runs too fast for anyone to notice anything. Never be late for an appointment with the White rabbit because she definitely won`t and might think you`re the pits afterwards. Her heart is in the right place but her mind is all over the place. She probably has lists and lists of tasks she is urgently trying to execute to perfection. If you have a white rabbit in your life, you should realize that your approval means the world to her. In fact – that’s actually why she is running like a madman! In fact, it is the only thing that will make her relax! If you are a white rabbit, it`s time to look in the mirror and realize you are pretty little bunny, and in fact a hero in your own sense. Try to stop, think and breathe before you act – the Jabberwocky is not going to slay Alice within the next two minutes. Sleeping with a white rabbit is wonderful, because she will keep doing it until she does it right! Have some mercy for your white rabbit lover and express your appreciation and gratitude over and over! YES ALSO IN BED!
*the rest to follow later today* Flutterwacken!
