Not Just a Pocket Pussy, Finding the E-Spot….and then the S-Spot, and then the N-Spot, and then the L-Spot, and then the C-Spot…. before getting to the G-Spot….. why and how.

Have you ever seen a “pocket pussy”?  If you`ve been to an Adult Novelty Store chances are you have.  Hmmm? I bet a lot of you wear balaclavas to the sex shop, or is wigs? Well if you were not shy you would have had the startling experience of coming (NOT cumming) face to face with a pocket pussy!  Don`t fear, it`s not much different from a blow up doll – except, it’s only the vagina of a blow up doll. A pocket pussy is a velvety soft plastic/latex little ball with labia and an inside. Obviously, it`s mostly for the use of straight men. My point exactly….

This might be an old tune I’m singing, but if you are struggling in your sex life, it is probably time you or your partner starts listening to when this fat lady sings! No matter how turned on – a woman is much more than a vagina, and sex with a woman, is sex with much more than a vagina. A premature hand, finger, dildo, strap-on on a vagina will therefore be greeted with the dismay it deserves. 

Having sex with a woman is not about a genital experience.  It is very much an emotional experience, a skin experience, a lips experience, a nipple experience and so forth.  It all starts in the emotions.  If you don`t find the e-spot before looking for the others, you will probably fail dismally at your attempt to pleasure your love to her full potential.

The E-spot consists of a few different mental and emotional dimensions.  Firstly, be someone she admires. When a woman knows she can seduce someone she admires, she immediately feels like a sex god herself!  To achieve this, it is important to know what your lover admires in people.  Work towards being more of that, and see the magic happen.  Secondly, we need to feel safe.  Your lover will only react to you on an ideal level if she trusts you.  Trust lies a bit deeper than “she won`t cheat on me” emotional safety to women is about, “does she love me?”, “will she still want me if she sees me in my pajamas in the middle of the night with my hair in all directions and my stinky breath?” and most importantly, are you someone with whom your partner feels its ok to lose all control and inhibitions.  This last aspect is the very essence of good sex with a woman.  Even if you spend hours vigorously working down under, and are panting of fatigue and not lust – if you don`t have the E-Spot in place, she will need to quietly close her eyes and think of a tree (or her boss) to experience orgasm.

After the E- spot follows all the different little spots covered by our biggest organ – the SKIN (S-Spot).  Truly where this is concerned,  SIZE DOES MATTER… Be all over her, worship her beautiful body,  kiss her toes and suck her fingers,  make her feel adored, on fire and wanting.  At this stage the Vulva is still a no go place – even if you yearn to let your fingers slip past those labia – I say NO!

The L-Spot don’t forget the lips! Not those lips! The ones attached to her head!  A proper French kiss is the perfect meeting place of the E-Spot and the S-Spot, and is just the thing to make her lose control of those violent desires…. If you and your partner are struggling with kissing that is satisfying to both of you, find a midway but never stop kissing!

 After you`ve spent enough time on all the Spots, you may know venture ahead to the rabbit hole of redemption….

I know most of you know, but for those of you that don`t…. Your final destination, one the road to small death is the G-Spot (not only the Clitoris).  It’s not hard to find…. Explore the roof of her vagina with your fingertips. Just past the entrance you will feel a place that’s feels almost as though it has rough ridges – keep your finger there when you rush to the finish line. 

She will want you, again and again and again….

She is not a pocket pussy, and after this, you will know the difference.   

Kisses

Darefairy.

....what sticks and stones can`t break - the power of words

After a significant absence I am back to entertain you with the tragic truth and the wonderful reality…
Thanks for bearing with me.

 If we are lucky,  life allows us to grow and develop.  Like wonderful divas. We soar and mature into more and more beauty every day.  Unfortunately however humans were also made to be extremely emotionally adaptable – and tend to quickly develop a very high level of tolerance for anything, from calming tablets, to violence. 

 The universe has been bombarding me with one message for the past month and that message entails the effect words and energy have on our health and wellbeing.  So, why is this lesbian issue?  Easy.  Women are highly emotional, seriously volatile and mostly quite expressive beings.  Even though this is exactly what we love about each other (and frankly what our straight friends miss most) it is also  the recipe for the worst of volcanic disasters, emotional tantrums and even crimes of passion. 

 The fact is – it seems that without noticing, we find it easier and easier every day that a relationship progress to be more insensitive and even verbally abusive.  I am not saying you should not be honest with your lover.  I am saying we should think what we are going to say, before we say it – and most important HOW we say it.   Barfing up insensitive remarks is easy when you are emotional, but Receiving them is devastating.  It leaves scarrs and wounds that take much longer to heal than sticks and stones ever could. 

So the sequence goes like this:   X upsets Y by doing something.  Y hurts X, so X hurts Y back – this time hitting a bit harder.  After a few knockout rounds of  lover Tennis, wounded egos and a shocked feeling running through their veins they stop the  fight.  Suddenly unresolved hurt lies between these two people that once adored each other.  Over time the hurting becomes a habit, the more it happens the more numb we get.  Because it’s not possible to only go numb in one part of your heart – your love numbs too – making it easier to give and take the punishment. In time the love becomes less than the injuries multiply and we go through life crippled by pain, but holding on to what we once had. Of course the number we get, we tend to react less and less to those words, and as we stop reacting the injuries get deeper, as our partners get more drifty in getting through to us. 

Honeys,  don’t be fooled by the numbness – you are not getting stronger,  you are actually dying.  What is worse is that you are allowing the one person you chose to love you – to destroy you.

Words words words – if ever there were a lie – it is that words can never hurt you.  Give me sticks and stones, by all means – break my bones – but leave my soul to be happy and free. 
 

We need to get out of this rut.  I`ve been thinking it through – and I can only see one way – and that is to become more sensitive.Contrary to instinct.   We should feel the violence of our own words before it leaves our lips. At the time if we allow ourselves to feel the violence of her words in time, we will know when to leave before it consumes us.  If we can break the lesbian cycle of emotional outbursts, psychological manipulation, and insensitive comments with love and sensitivity and getting the hell out of there in time we would probably be much happier.  It’s not that easy? When we are hurt, angry and loosing perspective,  it offers relief to lash out and dish out some hurt of our own.  Unfortunately the relieve is short lived.  Admit it to yourself, women lose perspective easier because we put our hearts into our partners.  There are no distance to make you pause and see the situation in context and so we become our own nemesis when it comes to relationships.  It needs to be a cognitive decision – you should tell yourself, when you get that “this truck is running down the hill without breaks” feeling to STOP.  STOP and leave.  Phone a friend, a shrink, a nurse, a pastor ANYONE – and get distance before reacting.  Decide to break the cycle of abuse with your mind not your heart. Never justify hard words towards the woman you love.   We are adults – we have the power, and on the other side of the violence – heaven awaits.

Words shape  our  reality and our wellbeing.  Language is the way we love and hate.

I  will soon write a follow up on: “fixing what sticks and stones can`t break”  until then…

Kisses

Darefairy