The Nosey Virtue: Smelling the Queendom and loving it!

Have you ever taken your lover`s pajamas, pressed it against your face, just breathing in her familiar beautiful smell?  Next time you do this notice how your breathing and heartbeat changes.  In my opinion smell is one of your most wonderful but underutilized bodily functions. It’s a secret invisible door to a new intimate heaven.  As us lesbians don`t need to deal with stinky men, we should use our sense of smell to enhance intimacy.

I just adore smelling the people I love.  Perhaps my dogs taught me this at first.  I have always been better at barking than singing.  Smelling the woman I love is like falling into a wonderland of pleasant memories of treasured moments close to her. If I don`t stop myself I might just make puppy like whines!

After all, there was something to the story of the college boy smelling his girlfriend`s panties whilst wanking!  Every day, our brains build little neural paths linking our senses to experiences.  This is probably the reason giving Oral sex is so fantastic.  It links the ecstatic experience of sex with the tastes and smells of the beloved woman stretched out in front of you. More importantly it links her intimate smells with the experience of orgasm and turns all your feel good hormones into fireworks!  Try smelling her juices while you are not being intimate, and notice the arousal.  Your body is activating the little neural path connecting that smell with the feel good hormones.  Those smells trigger smaller amounts of the same lovely experience your glands secretes whilst having sex.  It is all chemistry!

The truth is, we are mammals, and unconsciously our brains use smells en pheromones to communicate, attract, and repulse.  If you allow yourself to fully indulge the tastes and smells of the people around you it whips up the experience into a whole new dimension. 

Every woman tastes and smells differently.  Although some perfumes smell intoxicatingly nice, one should not kill one`s perfectly unique skin odor with chemicals whilst in bed or during sex.  I can proudly say that if you blindfold me, I’d be able to recognize my intimate partners by just smelling their hair.  It’s like a fingerprint enfolding her; it lures her partners and reminds us of the good stormy days of wild sex with a new lover.  Never underestimate the ability of a right woman’s` smell to lure you and turn you on. 

According to research we are genetically programmed to be more attracted to some people than others.    The same research suggests that our noses pick up on these pheromones and indicate to our subconscious that this might be a potential sexual partner.  It goes on by suggesting, that you and your partner is genetically compatible,  you will have more and better orgasms with her than with someone you are less compatible to.

I`m not talking about stench - no no no!  A stinky smell will cause your girlfriend to unsuck!  Treat your normal sweatiness and beware of bad breath! There is nothing worse than kissing the gorgeous white Queen and staggering due to bad breath!  If you are a smoker, and your woman does not smoke – you better ask her if it bothers her.  If it does make plan to make it more acceptable or otherwise don`t be surprised if she is not such an eager kisser!

The other thing about smoking; if you lover is not used to your smokey smell, or does not integrate it as part of your natural sexy odor, it buggers up the whole natural flow of feminine scent.  It also affects your ability to smell her properly.  Talking about the effect of smoking on your intimate life is very important!  Taking a bath and not smoking before sex can help.  Otherwise make a plan to get off the Coal locomotive!

Just like real a lesbian, loves the Queen of hearts, a real lesbian loves the smell of her partners and the partners`  noo noo.  There must be an important rule of thumb as to how much she likes the smell. To me, kissing the Queen of hearts when she has just bathed lacks a certain element of brute sensuality.  I prefer kissing the Queen of hearts at least four hours after she has taken a bath, but not more than 10 hours.  Partners should discuss what they like, love and dislike. 

Don`t forget that taste is intrinsically linked to smell.  Ultimately, I would say one cannot enjoy a woman`s body to the fullest if you don`t enjoy her intimate body scent.

Smell her, lick her, LOVE her!

Kisses

Darefairy

The Spotless Way to Wonderland – ignoring the Jabberwocky and just giving in to love.

I dedicate today’s opinion piece to three significant creatures in my Wonderland.  The elf man who helped create the fairy, the Alice who established my Hatter hood, and the Cheshire Cat who is always lurking in the Shadows.  

In the Movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind” the girl gets a corporation of shrinks to erase her lost love from her memory.  This way she does not need to deal with the pain of loss.  It occurred to me that this might be the best possible solution for relationship related pain.  (however my pinkshrink laughed at me when I requested this.) The thought of easily removing the object of loss from one`s memory just seems like a promise of eternal sunshine and heaven.  Will erasing people from our mind transform our lives from "Alice in Under land" to "Alice in Wonderland"?  It promises to.  A consciousness devoid of pain. A place where we can love like mad and just erase the pain if we get hurt.  

I started to imagine loving to the fullest, risking my heart without the possibility of luring loss and disappointment - a world where people don`t remember hurting one another.  A hypnotic safety net of altering conciousness after loss.   Wow! How would life be if we just loved, boundless, limitless and without reservation. It would be wild, wacky, loud, lovely and happy.

On the other hand, if we really loved each other this way, and lived boundless, would we have so much pain?  If all of us stopped the doubt and just loved, we might not need shrinks to remove each other from our minds in order to be happy.

A year ago I lost my best friend, Exo to a tragic mountaineering accident.  After a journey of eleven years, I neglected him for the last three months of his life.  After his death, I was told that he was disturbed and sad about this, he did not understand.  Dying on 8 August 2010, I never got the chance to rectify my mistake.  I never got the last chance to tell him: “I love you”.

Standing next to  Exo`s grave there was nothing I wanted to do more than to hold him one last time and tell him how much he means to me.  We live life limiting ourselves by social boundaries. I can`t love you because of this, I can`t show you how much I care because of that,  I am scared to love you, what if you leave me, if I show you how I feel, would you hurt me?  We make war against our hearts, and our own emotions become the Jabberwocky.  

As time passes we lose people along the way, because we are too busy fighting the war to show love. There are few things in life as liberating as telling someone: I love you, I don`t care what you do, or how you change, or if you grow a large purple mole on your nose – I love you, and this will never change.

I can love more than one person this way, all of us can.  It is time to rid ourselves of these Calvinistic patriarchal boundaries. I Recently said to myself: I do not care if some day I am just another face at her funeral, but I never want to feel regret for not loving enough again. This is why I will love free, and clear - despite the calvinistic way of being.  It is time to be free, to love and care, like we have spotless minds.  Like we have a fabulous shrink to save us on the other side and erase the pain. 

This is the surest way to Wonderland.   

  “At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” – Dr. Meredith Grey (Greys Anatomy).